Couples often approach therapy reluctantly and hope that the therapist will agree with their individual perspective and “join them” in convincing their partner to see things similarly. They are often surprised (and hopefully pleased) when I don’t go along with their plan and instead use an approach that involves teaching them to:
- Listening for understanding;
- Providing feedback to each other in a healthier fashion;
- Developing a plan for managing conflict; and
- Moving toward a direction of caring for each other.
My goal is not necessarily to “save the marriage”. It is more to help the couple get unstuck and help them to decide and talk about where they want the relationship to go.
Whenever children are involved, I try to include them in the therapy session, especially if the issues pertain to them. No matter what a child or adolescent is brought in for, I always want to provide an opportunity for all family members to communicate with each other about the issues, particularly things that are difficult for them to talk about on their own.
I have worked with a variety of LGBTQ family issues and welcome the opportunity to work with your family.
“Tom helped our family overcome major obstacles
and learn loving and effective communication approaches through positive solution-oriented family counseling several times over four years. His deep experience counseling youth showed and it worked wonders, because he fully empowered our teenager to open up. And he knows and is fully trustworthy on LGBTQ issues.”